It happens at different times... some people bond with their babies wholeheartedly in the womb, others immediately after birth, while others take a while to fall. But once you fall, Heaven help you...
When I was young, I would look at families that were full of kids and wonder how each child possibly got enough attention, enough love. How did they not just blur together? How did each child set itself apart from the rest?
Now, having had five children and observing as others welcome sweet new lives into the world, I see it with new eyes. A mother's heart is primed and prepped for those little lives entrusted to her. When you become pregnant there are often a myriad of emotions, not always happy and joyful right away. Weighted. Intense. Powerful. Sometimes overwhelming. And then you are given nine months. Over those nine months that life grows and love grows. Fingers and toes. Organs. Senses. Features. Personality and temperament. Love... love blooms as that belly swells.
Slowly you learn about your baby. Your mothering heart becomes linked with that little life. The weeks before delivery serve as a time to anticipate and long for meeting that sweet face. Labor and delivery can come in so many different ways... hard and fast, slow and methodical, natural, medicated, or surgical. Birth is often a trial in mental, emotional, and physical strength and endurance. Ultimately, you will meet that little being and each moment of growing, and waiting, and work becomes worth it.
There is so much power in that first meeting. You are exhausted. You are taxed. You are elated. You are at the moment that you have been waiting for, working for. That little beauty stares up at you, quietly soaking in her mama, or screaming in transition to this new life, but your whole world is in your arms.
It doesn't matter how many babies have come before her or how many will come after. This moment is yours... and hers. It's sacred. It's special, and it's been earned. This tiny life holds so much meaning. This meeting holds so much grace.
So whether you were intimately attached before you saw your baby, whether it was that moment that you linked eyes and heard that beautiful cry, or whether it takes some time to soak each other in before you fall.... the fall will come and your heart will never be the same. It's amazing how something so small and helpless can have such an immense impact. A mother's love is fierce and unbelievably beautiful and in that moment where your hearts link, time stands still and all of your focus is on this brand new person who holds such great importance.
And your heart is filled. To the brim.
Baby Love Blog
Here lies a stream of consciousness regarding, pregnancy, birth, babies, and my doula business...