This post was written for my personal family blog, but I think it's fitting to plop it here. It's part of my doula journey...
I have typed out this post several times, and they lie in the graveyard that is the "drafts" section of Blogger. RIP forgotten drafts. I get all self-conscious when I talk about myself... talking about the kids or my thoughts on topics, ok. Talk about me or something for me, I get all tongue tied and sheepish. Ya know what? I'm talking about me. This post is about me.
I'm going to cut right to the chase:
I'm becoming a birth and bereavement doula.
I know, right?
A doula. What they heck is a doula?
So basically, I want to help women birth their babies. It's not enough to birth my own babies, now I apparently need to help birth others' too, eh?
Over the last few years I have gotten more fascinated with pregnancy, birth, and babies. Fixated. Fascinated. For a long time, I just thought I was settling in and clicking with my position in life (big family and all), and I was. I am. I also felt more and more of a pull to help people. When I have things well managed here, I enjoy reaching outside myself to help others. It's like a drug, I feel good helping and I figure it helps ensure my spot in the afterlife, ya know? Win win, it's not exactly selfless. So anyway, those two factors combined led me to my doula decision.
Last April, I inadvertently attended my good friend's home birth. I was supposed to go there and help man the fort with her other kids and be an extra errand runner or help if needed, I was an accessory to keep things going downstairs so birth could happen upstairs. That didn't happen, I ended up being blessed with the opportunity to assist in and witness this birth.
I have never experienced such a high. I have never experienced such a miracle. I felt so alive.
I drove home at 5:23 that morning and knew: I needed to do this. I need to be a birth doula. I need to be there for women, helping them through the beauty and trial of labor. I started researching how to be a doula that day.
I googled and ventured on and felt further called to become a birth and bereavement doula. I will be certified to walk alongside a woman through her pregnancy and birth, but will also have the training to be a shoulder and a help and a resource in any outcome or situation: live birth, miscarriage, and stillbirth. Mothers without the happy ending need more support than those who bring home their babies. They deserve someone in their corner and I feel strongly that I need to be there for my clients, or anyone who reaches out to me, in any circumstance. It makes sense for me to train as a birth doula, but encompassing all possibilities.
So here I am.
I started my training this week through Stillbirthday University.http://www.stillbirthday.com/
It's an online course that runs through the Summer. This program feels like home... it's a strong curriculum and a very positive classroom environment. I feel privileged to go through Stillbirthday. In September, if all goes well, I will be SBD, a certified Stillbirthday birth and bereavement doula. I still have zero clue where to go from there. I'm not sure how to launch myself into the birth world and make a business from my training, but my heart is in it and I'm pretty confident that it will fall together at the right time.
For now, all I know is that I want to be a doula. I want to talk with women through their pregnancies. I want to answering their questions and share the anticipation. I want to be there as a comfort and aide through their labor, helping them have the best labor possible by providing comfort techniques, a calm environment, and keeping their focus on that sweet baby who is worth it all.
For the first time in many years, I'm doing something pretty huge that is just for me. It feels good.
Baby Love Blog
Here lies a stream of consciousness regarding, pregnancy, birth, babies, and my doula business...